Well I am required to give 100 words so I am going to comment on all of the photos you have uploaded from this entire set. I also looked through you're entire gallery just so I had more of an idea for suggestions for everything. But from this photo alone..
I believe you did very well on the angle, and her pose, the props even tho real.. I believe the setup was very well done. But as for technique I couldn't quite figure out the flaw, but all of this model were out of focus.. as you can tell, most are fuzzy at her body but most are in focus in somewhere else in the shot. Could be misfocused or a problem with your lens. But this in my opinion can make or break the shot..
Color balance also seems to be a bit off.. im guessing you adjusted a little to warmly for what was needed.
Anyways the main reason I decided to write, I believe she is a very beautiful girl and it is very important to keep her looking that way, and any other model you may come across. The first thing I noticed in this photo was her beautiful facial features, and the second.. was her stomach. I'm guessing she has a child by the looks of her lower figure, and this is important to either hide or edit out.. or its very unflattering. She's also got some strips right above her panty line.. which im guessing were probably from jeans. Both easily edited out..
I don't mean to be rude, or to be blunt.. But I figure the best advice is the most direct. I hope this helps, a little at the least show you what I believe you have missed. I too used to over look the details, so I understand completely.